8
Aug

Excerpt: FREEFALLING by Darlenne Susan Girard

   Posted by: darlenne   in General Writing

They walked along.  Melinda looked over at Angel, “How long have you known Carla?”

Angel grabbed another handful of chips. “A long time I guess. Ever since I’ve been out here. And that’s a long time. I think I had just turned seventeen, and things were pretty shitty at home. Me and my dad got into this really big argument, and the last thing I remember was hitting the floor, so I decided it was as good a time as any to leave. So, I did. I really didn’t know where I was going, I just knew that I couldn’t stay there any longer. It was about that time I met Marco. Carla had already been working for him for about a year or so, and I guess you could say I was his new girl, I just didn’t know it at the time. I was just a dumb kid, and maybe I didn’t know any better. But after you’ve been treated like shit your whole life, and you meet somebody like Marco, who buys you things and takes you places, I guess it just kinda goes to your head. And then the next thing I knew, I was standing out here with the rest of his girls. But I guess I’ve been out here too many years to make excuses.”

Melinda hesitated. “…Carla said you had an abortion.”

Angel wiped the chips from her mouth. “Yah well, Carla’s got a big mouth. What else did she tell you?”

“She said, the first time you were pregnant, it was with your dad’s kid. And the second time, she thought it belonged to some john.”

“Well, you already know about the first one. But I didn’t have an abortion. I was gonna, but I think I was taking too many drugs at the time, and I ended up having a miscarriage instead. But the second time I did. But it didn’t belong to no john.”

“So, whose was it?”

Angel looked at Melinda and took a deep breath. “It was Marco’s.” A sadness filled her voice.

Melinda looked at her, taken aback by what she had heard.

“But he never knew. And I never told him. I never told anybody. Not even Carla. You’re the first person I ever told.”

Melinda could not believe what she heard. Of all the people in the world she thought the last would be Marco.

“But you know the stupid thing about it, was that I wanted to keep it…”

“So, why didn’t you?” Melinda asked, looking up at Angel.

“I said it was stupid, didn’t I?” Trying to fight off the oncoming tears. “Jesus, look at me! I’m shaking,” looking down at her hands. “I thought I’d gotten over it. But every now and then I still find myself thinking about it, and I always end up crying. I think maybe deep down inside I wanted to have his baby. But when it came down to it, I just couldn’t go through with it. So, I ended up having an abortion instead,” wiping the tears from her eyes. “I remember I was lying there, wondering if I really wanted to do this, and as soon as it started, I wanted it to stop. But it was too late. And then it was over. But I guess something must’a went wrong and I started to hemorrhage. The next thing I knew, I woke up in the hospital, and everybody’s telling me how lucky I was, ’cause I almost died. If it wasn’t for Carla, I would have. She saved my life.”

“So, is that why you don’t like kids?”

“Why’d you ask me that for?” Angel looked confused.

“’Cause Carla said, that because of what happened you couldn’t have kids anymore.”

“I can still have kids if I want to. I just don’t want to. At least not right now.”

“That’s not what she said.”

“Well Carla doesn’t know everything.”

Melinda knew that Angel was lying, but it was something she still needed to believe, even if it wasn’t true.

“I’m glad you told me,” looking down at the ground.

“Yah… I’m glad I did too. I guess if I had to tell somebody, it might as well be you.”

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